


thus jongin and taemin fell apart

by vestaminerva



Series: taekai (taemin & jongin) [1]
Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, Super M
Genre: Angst, Crying, Don't Read This, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kinda, M/M, Poetic, Sad, What Have I Done, angsty, idk - Freeform, taekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 08:47:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24966961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vestaminerva/pseuds/vestaminerva
Summary: jongin makes flowers bloom in taemin’s lungs and they are very pretty but he can’t fucking breathe.a story, in which jongin and taemin have come to a toxic end of their relationship.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin
Series: taekai (taemin & jongin) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807045
Kudos: 10





	thus jongin and taemin fell apart

**Author's Note:**

> taekai angst is my religion.  
> this is very shitty and angsty. read tags. you've been warned. i’m sorry for this.  
> can be read as a standalone.

the thing about fire is, that it's beautifully inviting with its warmth, but it spreads way faster than one could imagine.

_"i don't understand, jongin" taemin hollowed, voice cracking slightly._

_"i can't understand, jongin”_

_jongin chuckled lowly to himself. a smile was left ghosting on the man's vile lips._

_"the way we’re coping must be closer to hell than heaven, don't you think so, sweetheart?"_

_"answer me honestly, ning. are we seriously going to break each other this way?"_

_"definitely" the black haired male answered, smile not fading one bit._

_"doesn't it bother you at all?"_

_"no. there's no point in caring at this point"_

taemin had many things in his life. on the outside, he seemed to be living a decent life. he seemed happy, smiling and fine. and that's because taemin used to have love. and he has absolutely no fucking idea how it all came to this. or maybe he does, but he doesn't want to admit it.

if the first one won't bend, they will both break. taemin knows this. and on nights like this, when he's sitting alone in the dim solitude of his apartment, taemin wonders if he remembered to light his shadows in the house.

solitude, taemin agrees and falls back against the grey couch.

their love bloomed like a beautiful flower, until it started withering in front of their very own eyes. then they started to suffer. drowning to breathe. suffocating. after all, he made taemin’s lungs bloom with flowers and they are beautiful but he can’t fucking breathe.

the conversations between him nowadays were... nonexistent. his eyes don't light up anymore the way they used to in the early years of their relationship. taemin wonders what went wrong. 

taemin is hurting. but he’s wiser than that - he knows just how much more it will hurt once he opens up. old, dried wounds. there’s no reason to reopen them. especially not at this point.

he became so happy that sometimes he forgets how to smile properly.

taemin wonders if he imagines him. wonders if this is one of those dreams their living in. she whispers to him. the night, it whispers to him. look who’s coming, it says, a warning.

taemin never really listens to it. 

solitude, he says again and closes his eyes this time.

he smiles, but not the way he used to. empty, stupid. blindly. taemin feels and wonders, if he’s fading away. slowly but surely drifting. to somewhere safe, better. but there’s no such a thing to exist, he reminds himself. this is the best you'll ever have.

september. taemin has loved autumn as long as he can remember, but as time passed by those memories turned into something worse.

melancholy. oh, how he hated that word. it tastes so bitter and somehow aloof on his mouth. it settles itself in the pit of his stomach, an uneasy feeling. an odd mix of emptiness and loneliness. taemin doesn't feel solitude anymore. he feels too bitter, bittersweet.

melancholy, taemin bitterly thinks and falls asleep right before dusk.

that night taemin doesn’t dream. black, empty sleep consumes him for the early hours of the night. for the rest of the night he doesn’t sleep at all.

he has become unbearable. unresponsive. unreadable. disgusting. he can’t sleep anymore tonight.

misplaced, he thinks. whatever guardian angel there was on his side was closer to devil.

taemin's broken heart was close to leaping out of his rib cage. speak of the devil - there, jongin was standing in the doorway, menacing. the fear of appearance is nearly paralyzing, and taemin immediately feels a horrendous wave of melancholy hit him hard and anxious. the fear licks through him like a snake, fast and poisonous. 

taemin feels apatic. everything that was real and touchable only a few days ago has turned out to be illusion, delusion.

is he supposed to watch on the sidelines as his life is being washed down the drain?

_ i’ll try to let you set the pace. i really do. _

jongin's tone is dark, sultry, and dangerous with forbidden emotion as he begins.

and like a moth to a flame, jongin came to him.

that’s when taemin came into the realization: jongin wasn't trying to go with the rules. he was trying to kill taemin.

taemin feels nauseous. the need of air nagging at the back of his mind, hands desperately clenching around jongin's strong ones. he's too strong. they are not going to last long.

when their mouths meet, it's nothing but a bittersweet memory of what was and what could be. it‘s almost nostalgic enough for jongin to stop but taemin as always, is the one who begs for it, and jongin was never the one to deny.

taemin feels the familiar pleasure of tears pressing against his eyelids, blurring his vision sweetly.

they aren‘t going to last long. not with how quick this started, not with how fast they’re going, not with how much force they’re putting into it and not with how close they are.

the feeling in the pit of his stomach feels shockingly evil now. taemin feels like he’s leaving, there's a whole, sickeningly beautiful garden in his lungs now, and inside of his dizzy, hazy mind he decides to take jongin down with him. such a heavenly way to die. it’s their love, isn’t it? 

hyperventilation. taemin’s eyes roll to the back of his head, breathing furiously, trying to get some air in his oxygen depraved lungs, failing miserably. one devastatingly long moment, and jongin takes everything from him.

their once lively love burns to ashes as they fall apart right before dawn.

with his final intake of breath, lungs aching and heart burning brightly crimson, he spits his last words straight to jongin’s heart.

_i love you,_ he confesses, never failing to halt jongin completely. that way taemin knew watching him die always brought a bitter taste to his mouth.

jongin would find the situation entertaining if his heart and hatred hadn’t just suffocated in the form of taemin.

he realizes what they have come to. not him, they.

from dusk till dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> all kind of feedback is appreciated <3  
> thank you for reading this shit :)


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